Drop

Competition in art is stupid. Titles, labels, and status have no place in art. It's self expression. You can't say that one rapper is better than another and be so matter of fact about it. Your favorite rapper should be the one who touched you the most. I like my own music more than anyone else's. Does that make me the best of all time? In my mind yes, but I don't go out and argue with people about the fact. Rappers should be collaborating all across the board. Politics and competition are fucking up the game. Trying to shine on a record is normal for an emcee. Trying to better than the guy next to you is corny. How can tell somebody that you are a better you than he is him. That is bullshit. Biggie isn't in my top five. He didn't touch me the way he touched everyone else I guess. That doesn't take away from his talent nor is it a personal affront to you or anyone else. My favorite emcees change with my mood. The list changes from one moment to the next. People try to downplay my skill because I'm not popular. Well, I'm not going to relate to most people. I'm a rare breed from a confusing background, plain and simple. I relate to those who can feel what I'm saying because they know how it is. I am technically as good as Eminem, I just don't speak to a large percentage of the hip hop population. I'm a monster, I'm handsome, intelligent, schizophrenic, a borderline sociopath, and good at a lot of things. How many of me are there. I truly don't give a fuck about what people think about me. So how many people can honestly say they relate to that. Not many I can tell you. My skill level is that of your favorite rapper. I have my own style, from beats to rhymes I'm authentic and original. Popularity depends on being relatable and accepted as one who fits into what society thinks a celebrity should be. I'm not what society wants me to be. I'm a rebel for real. I have no reason to front on the world. If I'm not on the best rapper list I don't care because your favorite rapper recognizes my skill. I don't feel comfortable tracing someone else's art. The formulaic production of modern music is ruining an art form. Hip hop music isn't even respected as other genres because of the competitive nature. Rappers shooting each other and fans fighting over who is better. Just enjoy the music you love and shut the fuck up. As far as rappers go, keep it on wax unless it actually calls for action. Biggie and Tupac's situation in tragedy. I go at rappers from time to time because they try to act like they are better than me when I think that makes you a shitty person. From sabotaging my set, playing me as less than, to being taken off tracks for political reasons, I have been through a lot with this current state of the game. I don't have a lot of fans, but I can say that all of my fans are intelligent, committed, and open minded. At least I don't have ignorant fucks promoting a message of poison. Let's do a test. Play your favorite Amadeus song for a dumb ass, than play it for someone you consider intelligent and knowledgeable. I guarantee that the dumb one, like it or not, will say something about it being underground and the intelligent person will say something about my use of words. I'm a lyricist, so you already know that I appreciate all love given and shown. When I got into writing hip hop songs, all I wanted to be was great at it. I think I have achieved that goal. I'm not the sound that you're familiar with so I don't expect to be accepted as a pop artist or even mainstream. I am lyrical so being labeled underground is expected. With that said, all those labels can go up your ass. I am hip hop, point blank. I'm not trying to be better than the next man when I get on a track, I just do me. If you don't like it fine, don't listen. I like to listen to everything and give different sounds a chance. I tend to lean towards the less popular content because it's usually sonically pleasing and thought provoking for me. I'm not knocking anyone else's taste, I just don't want anyone knocking mine. I'm surrounded by people who wonder why I haven't blown yet. I know why, because I'm a threat to the status quo. If you are trying to put a message of poison out and someone with the same skill-set as your czar come around and is anti, you're going to do everything in your power to suppress his/her growth. When you want people to think you're so real and you act a certain way and talk about certain things, when someone who acts differently has the potential to expose your weakness comes along you're going to try to discredit them. When people don't know how to play you, they're going to play you to the left. If you can't go along with the program you get trashed. I have been blackballed, blacklisted, and scapegoated. I get high with a lot of people on all sorts of drugs so I know the fiends. I chill with dangerous people so I know the dudes fronting hard. I spit on a high level so I know who is actually willing to stand up as opposed to those who are threatened by other's skill. Nobody wants to be "out shined", which is ridiculous. I'm all about the music and I know when the music isn't talking to me. When I get on a song with people, I try to come to a unanimous decision on whether or not the song speaks to the listener, if it doesn't do so we go back to the drawing board. I don't shit on talented people to make myself look better. I have reached out to so many emcees and rappers you can name him, I have reached out. Being an outcast sucks, but knowing that I'm outcast for nothing more than other's insecurities eases the pain. I'm not bitter, I just hope that hip hop music gets the respect it deserves before I'm done. It's to the point that I am not working with anyone else right now. Fuck them. You should have responded before my wave came. Now that I'm on you want to work? Fuck off, prick. To anyone out there who is wondering why I wasn't popping years ago, it's because I'm a threat. Call me delusional, I don't care, I know what I know.  

 

Whatever

What is now, always has been, and always will be? What cannot be created nor destroyed? What can't you see or hear in its truest form? What created the universe? What does the universe have everywhere? What gave you breath? What are your thoughts made of? What do you feel completely throughout yourself? What holds your body up? What is consciousness? What is the source of all existence? What remains after death? What is man trying to understand more than anything else? What holds the universe together? What keeps you from flying off the earth? What keeps the earth spinning? What is the theory of relativity about? What did you come from? What formed your body? What can destroy worlds? What can create life? What are dreams made of? What is inexhaustible? What is infinite? What is omnipotent? Omnipresent? What is universal above all else? What is the cause and effect? What is chaos? What lives right and exact? What is perfection manifested? What keeps you alive? What does all in existence consist of? What feeds and eats itself? What is absolutely self sufficient? What is gravity? What is technology? Of what do we all come from? What formed the universe? What can explain everything? What is the solution for world contention? What makes you unique? What do you need more than food and water? What is food and water? What is disease? What can cure disease? What drives the universe? What is the ultimate element? What is the biggest mystery? The answer is energy. Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared? Energy is God. Jesus is a story of science. You are made of energy and energy is eternal. The afterlife is what your energy is transferred into. Can you be transferred into what ever you will yourself to be? If you have the knowledge, your consciousness will become something marvelous. You're made up of energy and that can't be destroyed. Think about it, you can't see yourself or hear yourself or even feel yourself the others do. Sounds godly, right? Divine: having the nature of or being a deity. Deity: a god or goddess. If energy is God, and you are made up of God, does that make you a god? Yes, it does. You are divine. If you accept these truths you will be a deity. Divinity is being a god or goddess. Men are the shining light of the micro galaxies that are their families. Women are the nurturers and bearers of life, kind of like the earth. The earth is mostly water which covers earth like clothing. We can't drink salt water not can we see through the proper attire. The women tend to reflect the men's light, like the moon right? The moon is made from the earth and goes through a cycle, when the cycle is complete it reflects the most light from the sun. Women birth children, who are not fully formed until they are adults. Like a star becoming a small planet or creating its own Galaxy. The star is a light of its own and is visible from the earth and positioned to become this. Sun, moon, and star; the human family. There is one earth one sun and there can be many stars. When stars shine they shine like the sun, burning gas and breathing. How do stars form though? They form from the right elements that sustain their life. Kind of like sperm and egg. How does the star know how to become a planet or Galaxy? Communication or wisdom is the transference of knowledge and down to the smallest particle, energy communicates with itself. We have eight planets in our galaxy plus Pluto. If we consider the sun to be 0 we can count to nine and complete the numerical symbolism. What, when, who, why, and how? The what is energy, the when is infinity, the who is us, the why is the optimization of the elements, and the how is communication. There is a collective consciousness that is earth. Did you know that a thought an travel the universe and back in a jiffy? It's true, physicists are studying how now. You can think yourself to death or heaven on earth, you choose. Your thoughts are directly related to your situation and place in the world. You manifest your thoughts everyday. Have you ever had a new interest and once you really got into it almost everybody you meet can offer information about it? That's magnetism, which is faster than the speed of light. Do you know how you want something and never get it but you end up getting something that complements your lifestyle? Or, traveled far from home and meet people that know the same folks as you? That's how the universe works. You're communicating with the universal energy and collective consciousness with every thought. I hear people talk about natural drugs verse synthetics and I want to ask them why do they think we can even make synthetic drugs. We can synthesize just about anything nowadays. Intelligent design is real as well as evolution. We evolved from lower forms of human beings not apes and monkeys. We continue to evolve and you can see it all around you. Love ok at sports, technology and art. We are mastering ourselves in time. Time is a man made measurement. There is a fourth dimension where what we call time folds in on itself. Deja vu, homie. What is deja vu? That's an instance of the fourth dimension being tapped into. You can cross into the fourth dimension with intelligence. The supreme being exists and looks like you and I. Have you ever thought about what your life would of be like if you were smarter, faster, stronger, or richer? That's you looking towards your higher self. The master is your higher self. The master knows the answers to all of your questions. Listen to your senses, all six. Yea I said it. We all have a sixth sense and we all can gain common sense. Common sense is savvy in practical matters, that's all. Rationalizing, analyzing, and using logic is common sense. It's not common by any means. Most people lack common sense because they never had intellectual pursuits of any kind. When you pursue better knowledge you obtain an understanding of practical application of said knowledge. You can't fall off of the edge of the earth. Common sense right? Yes, but there was a time we didn't know that. It takes a man or woman with vision and common sense to help us better know our universe. You experience life in your own way. Nobody can know exactly how you feel at any given time. Empathy is something that can only be achieved through experience. When someone's loved one dies, I think about my lost Familly members. When I tell some one that I almost had my head blown off they think about themselves in that situation in order to empathize. Even if that person has never been in that situation they imagine it. The word faith came about because the Aramaic language didn't have a word for imagination. Religion comes from the Aramaic " to be held back". So seeing yourself as lesser than a prophet makes you a believer in that prophet. People who don't believe in Muhammad can't "imagine" themselves needing to be civilized. As for Jesus, I can't imagine being ignorant to what God is. In the Tao te Ching the master steers the person on his/her path. The master is your higher self, so the Tao is different for each individual. The Tao is life, but a school of thought. I can imagine myself being preeminent. I have "faith" in my higher self. I know I can achieve anything I fully commit to obtaining. Health, wealth, or power are mine to have. All you have to do is act in accordance to what the collective consciousness agrees the path to that which you are pursuing.  You can create your own path to greatness by allowing yourself to be wretched. You can see God once you allow yourself to see nothingness. I don't want to make this blog too long so I will say one last thing. Man is God.

Losing

Every time I set out to accomplish something, things go wrong. You would think that with as much productivity as one puts out, things are running smoothly. That's not the case. I just lost two blogs I wrote today, back to back because I had the wrong browser running. Anyway, I am sitting here listening to LZRS TAXN and 9ravity writing this blog. I'm thinking about swagger, the term. I see all different kinds of swag. The fiend swag, you know the dude you can spot from a mile away looking straight customer status. The nerd swag, that I have a lot of useless information dude (Star Wars). Geek swag, that I have a lot of impertinent information guy. There's the goon swag, this dude looks like he shot a couple people. That differs just a bit from the killer swag, because this swag is some don't move the wrong way vibe. Some dudes have the jiggalo swag, pretty boys with sugar mommas. That and pimp swag can go hand in hand. Hood swag, ghetto swag, idiot swag (the half a 'tard motherfuckers). There's professor swag that let's you know you are going to learn something today. They got that play bunny swag, those who are familiar with this one have gotten the blue balls before. Slut swag, we all know there's one in every group. Klansman swag, self explanatory. Hillbilly swag, for those in the Appalachians. LA swag, Boston swag, NY swag, and dirty swag are represented. Animal swag, people with no restraint. Airhead or valley swag, you know. Many more to list. List some of your own in the comments. Anyway, I'm just saying that you shouldn't let anybody tell you what real is. Who can tell you how to be you better than you. For real, I see all these cliques where everybody speaks the same, seem to think the same and act the same with people basically calling out "fouls" and mistakes that would make a person stand out. Am I lying? Stampedianism is my way of thinking. I gave myself a label so that no one else can. Break down my name, self-mastery and quickness. I move at the speed of thought. Trust me, there's nothing faster. I'm stampeding away from a troubled past towards a greater future. Break down the logo. The 14 bullets, 7 on either side crossing in the middle, representing the duality of the supreme being complementing one another. The bullets are the 7 deadly sins pridewrathgreedenvylust, and gluttony, and the 7 virtues, prudence,justicetemperance (meaning restriction or restraint), and courage (or fortitude), faithhope, and charity (or love). The elephant skull, representing the eternal memory of the soul and the most powerful of stampedes. The eight ball in the left eye, that's the drug addled life and times. The eight representing the hour glass or infinity. Black representing the universe. The crossed AK-47's, are there for violent revolution, and the opposing ideas for change (pros and cons), which switch according to the individual hence the weaponry. 50 bullets in each clip, one with the pros; the 12 jewels (knowledge, wisdom, understanding, freedom, justice, equality, food, clothing, shelter, love, peace, and happiness), 7 virtues, 10 commandments, 5 pillars, 8 wonders (Great Pyramid of Giza, Hanging Gardens of Babylon, Statue of Zeus at Olympia, Temple of Artemis at Ephesus, Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, Colossus of Rhodes, Light House of Alexandria, and The Great Wall of China), and 8 religions (IslamChristianityBuddhismJudaism,ConfucianismYorubaTaoism and Atheism). The other clip holds the cons; the 10 satanic commandments, 7 sins, 8 religions, 7 major gangs, 5 mobs, and 13 forms of witchcraft. There is plenty more ammo also. On to the bejeweled 7 pointed crown, representing the king amongst kings and lord amongst lords. That's swagger people. God swag. Hahahahaha. Yea. One.

I Know One Thing

I really live the words. My thoughts, actions, character, and destiny match my music. My input is greater than my output. I learn something new everyday. Things about life, and myself are absorbed into my DNA. I mutate every lunar cycle for real. I am not who I was yesterday, I am that plus what I've learned. I'm only getting better. I have a genuine passion for learning. I listen more than I talk. That makes me a great communicator. People are always waiting for their turn to talk, not letting others finish their thoughts. I'm guilty of it sometimes too. Less often than most though. I got so many ideas in my head it's like I can't get them out fast enough. The words spill on the page from an infinite source. There's nothing that I can't do, except accept failure. You have been witnessing me take loss after loss, living in obscurity. I plan on reversing that fortune. I'm taking on all challenges. As of today, I plan on beating the world over the head with my pain and pleasure. I have thoughts and feelings like no one else. They belong to me and sometimes it's all I have. I love my family, but they can't feel what I go through. I have too many things that upset me to let people just feel comfortable like everything's cool. I'm peace and love at the end of the day, but if you're comfortable you're not trying. I'm going to make you try to understand things. My only regret in life is not waking up earlier. I was but a child when I realized that I molded the universe into what I see and experience. I am master of reality. Nobody can see through my eyes, and it's very difficult to see myself as others do. When I have seen myself outside myself I was scared so I can only imagine how you feel around me. Not saying that I'm some crazy killer, but I am certifiably psycho and not to be fucked with. I am waiting for the day that somebody teaches me something to get me ahead. Nobody will, for free at least. Think about the reason you even get online in the first place. The internet was invented as a nuclear attack proof way to communicate and exchange information. What information are we sharing with each other? Music, human causes, ideas, and discoveries with a lot of personal shit  nobody needs to know sprinkled in there. We can literally shape the world into what we need it to be. We are forming it into what we want right now. Look at the amount of ignorance there is in the world. How can people be so dumb, deaf, and blind in these times. Personally, I know that the world can be a heavenly place. The hell we are raising collectively is a sign of weakness and human flaw. People are terrified of differences and change. No one person has the power to stop the continuous flow of God in the universe. You will witness my rise and triumph over these next tomorrows to come. Xenophobes beware, the things you fear most will be on your doorstep before long. Me myself, I know God. Can you look in the mirror and say, "the person that I'm looking at is insignificant"? If not, then act like you matter and be a better person than you were yesterday. I say that to say this, "I know nothing".

Schizo

The schizo in schizophrenia means "split". That split isn't in personalities though. It's the incongruence in words, actions and intent. I'm not deliberately mean or aloof. I say one thing in a certain way in my mind, but it comes out aggressive or crazy. In my mind I'm normal and nice and in the moment. I have been told that that incongruence is the schizo. I can say I love you and hurt your feelings, also, I can tell you to go to hell and you would pack your bags and buy a one way ticket. I don't notice these splits in words and actions, I was told about this over the years in treatment. I may seem inappropriate in conversation or aggressive in nature but trust me that is only the natural me. I space out from time to time too. I hear people call my name and answer and they are like, "I've been talking to you for two minutes". I'm gone in my own world. You should really appreciate the fact that you can be in the moment and focus. See for me, my thoughts are very loud. I can hear the voices in my head like I am wearing headphones. "You're going to die", "you're going to get shot stabbed or beaten to death". They also tell me about the consequences of being what other people want me to be, like letting other people dictate my behavior is fatal. Not that it's a bad thing to be real, but damn, why the loud ass voices? I'm struggling to write this blog right now. The thoughts are interrupted by those loud voices. "Nobody cares, they are waiting for you to die". Anyways, you may ask how I deal with this. Well, I fight against myself. I tell myself to fuck off, my higher self is what I'm trying to hear. Yet, I still hear these demonic voices, not in the way you think demonic, but quite persuasive tones and scary ass volume. "They are going to kill you". I'm lucky I'm strong enough to leave the house and do anything remotely routine. You may think what you want, but I know what I'm going through on the daily basis. My life is "split", as is my mind, body, and soul. I look at my life and some people that I associate with and think that I have made some bad decisions. I can't trust myself to the point that I make horrible judgement and bad decisions. I am living a life I never thought I would live. Being a father is awesome, as is being a good hubby and friend. I'm loyal to very few people, but that natural loyal discipline makes me an extra nice associate. I wait until I have some lucidity before I tell people to eat shit and die. Still, I keep fighting the voices, that are not always wrong. How do I know when they are helping or hurting? Are they always wrong? Are they always right? I don't know but I continue to live as half good half evil, to an extreme. Rappers have told me my music isn't that crazy. Of course not, I'm not TRYING to be crazy, I'm fighting a horrible mental condition. I try 100 times harder than you "normal" folks to live a stable life. That's why I don't give a shit about what people have to say about me most times. If I was a weaker person I would have been dead and buried 15 years ago when I was locked in the hospital arguing with the voices through my actions. I'm writing this because I have to get this out to the world. I am watching the earth spin with an hour glass filled with drug powder about to break that glass and sniff my life away. Because when I'm high the voices are more quiet. I don't know why, but drugs even me out. That's why they prescribe me such strong medication. I need to be in an altered mindset to function somewhat normal. My soul is strong yet scarred. My mind and body are the same as my soul. I'm 100% injured by trauma. If I told you the details you wouldn't believe them. My life has been crazy but there are people going through so much more shit than us. Anyways, I'm getting some chill time everyday to myself to try to rid myself of these "demons". No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to accomplish that goal. One.

Pay To Play

People ask me all the time when my next show in Boston is. For those who don't know, I have been blackballed locally and my name has been besmirched. I heard that i was a washed up junky, that i am off my meds making me a liability. I've heard that I have disappeared because I couldn't handle the pressure. I even have heard that I have died! Anyways, there is a growing practice that is hurting artists like myself. When I say like myself, I mean professional. Wannabe artists are paying $200-$500 to perform on stage at local venues. Me myself, I am used to earning that for a live performance. Even promotional shows would yield some sort of return. I talked to a local artist and his management about the practice of pay to play, and they admitted to doing it. I told them that a professional such as myself, that has given his life to the craft, has to be a starving artist and "pay his dues" in order to be able to finally get paid to rock. When another artist, pro or not, goes ahead and pays out of pocket to be on a bill he/she knows they don't deserve to be on it hurts the starving artist even more. They said the same old thing about getting exposure and experience, and I said what I said. Basically, you're hurting the culture and the artists who have been performing for years for crumbs and scraps by cutting corners. A promoter: a person or thing that promotes something, in particular, or a person or company that finances or organizes a sporting event or theatrical production is responsible for making the show pop. When they offer artists time slots on a good bill, the promoter is putting a personal investment into the show and the artists. When that time slot is filled with an artist who pays for it, and the promoter is not concerned with the quality of work, then the corners are being cut and the culture is being sucked dry. Would you pay Best Buy $100 a week to work there? Even if they told you that you were gaining priceless experience and you have a 1 in a million chance of getting a paid gig? The integrity and the worth of a culture is at stake. They ask you to sell tickets when they should be giving you press and coverage to get your name to better draw. You pay and you don't get these things. The promoter doesn't believe in you and your friends and family that came to see you perform are going to be upset in about 25 shows when you are still paying for gigs. I may starve for knowing my worth now, but when I do get my chance it will be lucrative. One.

Outreach

I have been reaching out to everybody lately. I can tell you that many haven't responded. I guess I'm not gangster enough for the hood, I'm too black for the nerds, and I'm too smart for the cool kids. Look here, I'm a bit of everything. I'm a multifaceted personality and a versatile artist. I know that I make great music and I'm intelligent enough to figure out the bullshit. I hear what I make, and I can feel the quality of my work. The whole clique off and succeed in music plan hasn't worked for me. I don't know why people don't fuck with me on the music shit and truthfully, I don't give a fuck. I just think it's funny when artists stay complaining about the hate and when i show love and try to create opportunities for us I get snubbed. Well, this is an official fuck you to everyone that gave me the cold shoulder. I'm nicer than 99% so i have to clique off with the 1%, right. Don't go on about how you had a meaningless interaction with me when you see me shining. I'm letting the world know that this story is mine and mine alone. I built this, i struggle daily with it, and I alone will reap the benefits. Now i know that people are busy, but i have waited months and years for responses from these people. No one can say that I disrespected them or threw a shot at them without a logical reason. When you see records that are produced, recorded, written, performed, and mixed by me, that is out of necessity, not first choice. I had to learn to do everything myself, so save the criticism for someone who gives a fuck. Don't tell me how a record should've sounded, or who would've sounded good on that track because I say fuck them all. I didn't become an artist to seek approval or acceptance from people who could care less if I dropped dead tomorrow. I became an artist in order to express myself and exercise my freedom. So when you hear someone talk shit about me, remember, I showed them nothing but respect. I have too much to live with now and I am not trying to fit in because no matter what, I stand out. I feel as if my success is being oppressed by a people who want me (and you) to be a certain way because of where I come from or how I look. I never gave a fuck about my image enough to treat a human being like they are less than. Treating people like they are not as good as you are is corny. I don't know what a person has been through enough to judge them. With that said, i have learned stuff about people or experienced enough with people to say that they are phony and just not good people. I am putting out my mixtape, "Life Happens", soon. The release of this mixtape will be along side some official releases of studio albums. On April 1, 2016, be on the lookout for some more stampedian branded dope. I can't blame people when I fail so I can say I did it when I succeed. I'm telling you now, watch out for me.

Books

I like to read. I'm thinking about writing a stampedian manifesto to put at the beginning of a book of my lyrics titled "Encyclopedia Stampedium", which will include all of my lyrics and some backstories of songs etc. The manifesto will explain stampedianism as a school of thought that I practice. The logo is like a code of arms or crest of sorts. I know I'm crazy and I own that shit. Stampedia is my personal heaven on earth, so I decided to give it a name. People can make fun if they like, but living with schizophrenia is a struggle they will never know so why judge the ways in which I combat the illness. I found peace in my insanity and freedom in my diagnosis. You will never know what I live with, but you can learn how I deal with living with the worst mental illness known to man. Being afflicted doesn't stop me from expressing myself even though i know that nobody can really understand me. I truly believe in being faithless while being faithful, being ruthless while being righteous, and being insane while being level-headed. As a lifelong Taoist I'm dedicated to being a humanist and working for the greater good. I look forward to publishing my life's work for future intellectuals to delve into. I am Amadeus The Stampede and i don't give a fuck what you think about that. One.